Now Reading
Lucie Fink: Shining My Light

Lucie Fink: Shining My Light

Who I am? The human race has always strived to belong by identifying ourselves through physical aspects based on stories told from generation to generation and beliefs that give us the confidence to be someone worthy of living within the standards accepted by most of our environment. However, there is an unshakable and steady aspect that we often deny, which is our non-tangible, vibrational essence. Beyond physicality, we can tune into and feel our innate worthiness to experience the life we consider best for us, just for being here, now, present, and alive. We are the life force, the light shining from within, embodying our physical avatar and not the other way around. Our sense of identity and belonging is not something to earn and work hard for; it is given to all of us without exception.

Artist Lucie Fink, a self-made media mogul, producer, a loving wife, proud mama, and host of the brand-new podcast, The Real Stuff With Lucie Fink, says, “I’ve always identified with having a bubbly essence. My name, Lucie, is short for Lucinda. My parents always told me that was a nod to the word ‘luz,’ meaning light. I’ve always felt a general sense of optimism about the world; a glass-is-half-full mentality, always looking on the bright side. I love bringing light wherever I go and shining light on other people and the world before me.”

How strategically can we experience what we want and who we are to its fullest? Our desires are summoning life into existence. Without desires, there is no life. Since we are all unrepeatably unique, no desire can overshadow someone else’s desire to be. We all can have it all. Living, meaning, being, acting, and having from the perspective of our authentic selves is listening to our inner guidance, caring about how we feel without being right or wrong, but catering to our preferences to include others and share from the vantage point of having. Being authentic also means giving unconditionally for the pleasure of serving others and also receiving unconditionally without feeling that we owe anything to anyone. Being strategic about the network of our relationships can be exhausting; relationships do not have to be transactional. The only strategy that perhaps will satisfy us is measuring where we are and where we want to be for our own reference.

“In every sense of the word, authenticity means not changing anything about your inner essence, and anything you feel is naturally flowing out of you to conform to whatever else is happening around you. Especially in this digital space, where we’re all glued to our devices, watching other people talk and create content, it can be easy to gain inspiration from the world around you and become the same as everyone else. Being authentic is also about closing your eyes at times and not looking at what others are doing, letting what is flowing naturally out of you flow because not one of us is the same as someone else. There is infinite room and space for everyone who wants to tell a story and have a platform to do so. I feel strongly about collaboration over competition, and not getting sucked into pitting myself against other creators or feeling like someone else’s gain is my loss. I have worked very hard since the start of this career to be able to look at what other people are doing and see other people’s successes around me and feel happy for them and excited knowing that it doesn’t mean anything about my chances at success. I’m the only Lucie in the world who’s in this body and living this life. I have as much of a shot as anyone else,” shares Lucie about what authenticity means to her.

There is a natural expansion of the awareness of the balance of the body, mind, and spirit. Generally speaking, we transitioned from overworking our bodies on the field in the past. Then we tried to compensate for that in contrast by over-praising the intellect work, where we forgot about our bodies. Now, we are more aware of the importance of physical activity balanced with our minds and how one affects the other. Strenuous physical activity, when overdone, can be harmful to the body and mind. Too much focus outwards overstimulates the mind, affecting the body’s energies. In that case, a good idea is to bring the attention into the body by doing a favorite physical activity. The third element to be taken into consideration is spirit. The spirit was overlooked, but more and more, through awareness, it’s brought into harmony with the body and mind. Since the body and mind belong to the spirit, we can create a distance between our non-physical and physical aspects to consciously choose which one needs a bit of tune-up moment by moment. Our physical vessel is designed to be more vitalized with age because we are more aware and have more tools available to experience fuller harmony between body, mind, and spirit. It’s not about eliminating disbalance but to be aware when it happens so we can do something about it. Therefore, perhaps happiness is simply the ease through which we move from disbalance to fuller balance and vice versa.

Regarding mental health, one of the many topics Lucie discusses on her podcast, she says, “I never grew up being taught about mental health. As a child in the 90s, I wasn’t even raised with much emphasis on physical health. I remember my childhood diet and all the processed foods we were given, and I never once physically exercised until I became an adult. I know it’s just a product of the times and generations changing. But once I became an adult myself and branched off from being the child in my relationship with my parents and started carving my own path, that was when I personally started feeling called towards figuring out how to be in the best mental state possible because I realized how much of an effect your mental health has on your physical health. I wound up dealing with a handful of physical health issues in my adulthood. Needing to have a cholecystectomy, developing migraines, and finding out I had celiac disease. I went through all these physical challenges and began taking better care of my body, but realized it’s not for anything unless you are also taking care of your mental health. For me, being mentally well is not always about being happy. As a monk in Thailand told me, happiness is just an emotion like anything else. In a good movie, happiness levels fluctuate. It’s a roller coaster. You don’t want to only experience one emotion. I took that to heart. Before that, when people would ask what I wanted in life, I’d say, ‘I want to be happy.’ But happiness comes and goes. I want to be well, to manage and have the tools in my toolkit when I’m not feeling the happiest, and to accept that happiness will come again later. So, it’s really about bringing myself back to this neutral state of being. I do a lot of practices to get there. Many of them are physical practices, like breathwork and exercises. I bought a sauna for our new house, and I’ve been using it as a therapy. I meditate when I can. I sit for 10 minutes in silence, not even trying to meditate but just enjoying the silence. I spend a lot of time outdoors in nature. I’ve capitalized on that outdoor time. I built a garden and I’m getting a lot more time in the sun connecting with the earth. I listen to tons of podcasts about physical and mental health and wellness and try to incorporate as many practices as possible to see what makes me feel good,” Lucie pauses and then continues, “Newton’s First Law of Motion says that ‘an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.’ It’s so easy to wake up every day and feel, especially as a parent, that you’re exhausted; you have work and all these obligations. Sometimes, in any free time, you just want to sit down and veg out and open your phone and lose track of time. But I push myself in the morning, especially the first few hours of my day, to do an activity or something physical, even if it’s just stepping out into the garden. I am also a part of a tennis clinic, and I get out of the house, meet with other moms, and play tennis. And doing something is a good way to set yourself up for a day full of action instead of feeling exhausted by default.”

Everything is about relationships because we always relate to something we observe around us. From the energetical perspective, our closest relationships, such as parents, life partners, and children, are the most stubborn and constant mirrors of our current vibrational state of being as they are the ones we give our attention the most. Everything we experience outside of us is a reflection of our world inside. All relationships provide us with feedback, but the relationships we care about most consistently give us feedback about what we currently emanate energetically. By being aware of it, instead of blaming others when there is something we dislike, we can empower ourselves by shifting it inside ourselves, which inevitably will change it without. Therefore, the most important relationship we could cater to is the relationship within ourselves through the feedback we receive from others.

“My most important relationship is the partnership I have with my husband. Getting married and becoming parents, by choice, makes us a team that goes through the rest of our lives together. Every decision we make, from having another kid to where we want to live, what we want to do on a random Tuesday night, and what we want to eat for dinner, is a joint decision. Our relationship changed a lot after we had our first child. And not necessarily for the better at first; it took a lot of time for us to realize how much more we needed to communicate and be more receptive to what the other person needed on a minute-by-minute basis. My husband and I have been together since high school, and we have grown together. I’ve seen him go from a teenager to an adult to a father. And I plan to be with him until he’s in his hundreds. I hope. That’s the number one relationship I would prioritize above all. My husband is the more emotional one in our relationship. During my postpartum period, he experienced the postpartum hormones right alongside me. We were having this whole new experience together, and only the two of us understood how we felt. And it is very special,” candidly shares Lucie about her relationship with her life partner, Michael.

There is a lot of shame around the topic of sex and body. Shame is just the perspective of lack of security; it’s fear of not being safe. There is no need to infuse with survival our natural aspects such as sex or body. Having an opinion is not a fact because opinions change. Depending on the cultural context, we can see a mother breastfeeding her baby in the metro in Florence, Italy, without covering, and it’s not a big deal. In turn, in the United States, that same process can be seen as outrageous and make uncomfortable people around a mother openly breastfeeding her child. In many Mediterranean countries, being topless on the beach is normal, but in other countries, it is not. Then, in some other cultures, women must cover some parts of their bodies; in others, it doesn’t make sense. There is no right or wrong but be aware that everyone is free to choose how to relate to their bodies. Many aspects of natural intimacy that do not necessarily have to do with a sexual act have been sexualized. Therefore, what is an intimate connection between different ways of relationships has been polarized. Sexual energy is the energy of creation. Sexual energy paired with intimacy, where both partners feel free to express themselves, blending one with the other as one, creates ecstasy beyond the mere function of a sexual act. Just looking at each other’s eyes for a few minutes can be more intimate than anything else. Being present with ourselves, exploring, and knowing our body is the basis of being open to giving and receiving one of the biggest pleasers of life, which affects how we intimately relate to others.

“I’ve shared on my podcast, The Real Stuff With Lucie Fink, that I started exploring my body at a very young age. What’s interesting is that at that stage of my life, it wasn’t tied to anything sexual. It was like exploring the biology of the human body. I didn’t even know what the feeling was that I was experiencing, I just knew it felt good. I didn’t come from a religious household where I was taught anything negative about sex, but it also wasn’t talked about that much. I think I felt a small sense of shame about it. I remember calling my mom into my room one day and, in the most teenage way, telling her what I had discovered about my body and then hiding to see what her reaction would be. She reacted in a great way; she just said, ‘It’s normal.’ Moving into adulthood, I’ve only had one actual sexual partner in my life (my husband). I’ve always felt very comfortable with my body, aware of what feels good and what doesn’t, and very comfortable expressing that to him. My husband is way more private than I am. So when it comes to specific intimate details about our sex life, that’s where he’s asked me to put up boundaries when I’m talking on my podcast or my social platforms. But I will say that I don’t think having a healthy sex life is necessarily tied to a frequency of sex or the most outrageous experimental positions or activities. It’s purely tied to the emotional connection between you and your partner and whether you get what you need from that part of your life. It’s about communicating and making sure we’re aware of each other’s love languages,” Lucie says passionately.

“Money, money, money, must be funny in the rich man’s world,” sings Abba. The topic of money is very active in our society as money are the means for services exchange. But the money are not the means to happiness, but a joyful life experience is the means to money. Current generation does not relate money to hard work anymore. There is enough evidence now where people get to experience what they want without having to give away the joy of living while expressing themselves in myriad of ways.

Regarding the topic of money, Lucie says, “My perception of money as an adult is slightly different from how it was taught to me as a child, and I’ve since developed my own relationship with it. My parents definitely emphasized the importance of money as a key element of happiness in life. It is not that they were incredibly hard, strict parents, but they certainly taught me and my siblings that school was our number one priority because if we do well in school, then we will get good jobs and then we will be able to make a lot of money which will lead to us living happier lives. I owe a lot of my academic success and where I’ve ended up in my job to this mindset they instilled in me. However, once I started making money of my own (and honestly made a lot more of it earlier on than I thought I would), it became very obvious to me that making money is not the key to happiness in life. If you were to ask me what money is, I think it’s an energetic currency. Yes, it’s a physical currency that is given to you for services rendered. But I’m big on the idea that if you believe money comes to you easily and you really embody that mindset without feeling the scarcity and nervous energy surrounding it, then it will come into your life. If you are living in a way where you feel like money is so hard to get and that you need to hoard it and hold on to it tightly, it’s going to be a lot harder to make and keep. My husband and I are very organized with our family finances, and we keep very diligent track of all of our accounts, investments, and all the money going in and out.”

Being privileged can be seen from as many points of view as there are people on the planet. We all create our own reality in the direction of our preference to the degree we allow it to be. For some, being born into a wealthy family is a privilege. But being born into a humble family doesn’t make it less privileged because we all have the same ability to allow as much financial prosperity as we desire into our experience. There is no same experience for anyone. We are not less or more than others, and seeing someone in a more favorable position may be disempowering and limiting to us and others. What can be more empowering and extraordinary privilege than the opportunity to create and allow the abundance we desire regardless of the environment in which we are born? There is a solution to every opposite, and it’s in our power to consciously choose whether to look in the direction of what we desire and celebrate what we have or argue for our limitations about why we don’t have what we want. Since we can’t save anyone from their vibrational state of being, our desires and how we live do not need justification. But what we can do is to shine our inner light so brightly that it will invite others to shine it, too.

“I can’t do any interview about finance without making sure to call out how aware I am of the immense privilege I had at the start of my life, specifically, the fact that I was raised in a wealthy community and had parents who were able to pay and put me and my siblings through college. I graduated college without any student loan debt. Had I graduated with debt, I may not have been able to go into this creative field and might have had to find something a little steadier. I make most of my money today through brand partnerships. I remember the first time I said “no” to a brand partnership offer that came in. It can be absolutely terrifying to pass on a $20k or $25k deal, but when you know the partnership doesn’t align with your values or doesn’t feel right, it’s important to hold firm to your boundaries. It’s been proven to me time and time again that when I stay true to myself and say “no” to deals that don’t align, a new opportunity always comes through the door in its place,” says Lucie.

It feels so good to acknowledge the aspects of ourselves we love the most and recognize the aspects we love seeing in others. We can only experience from others what we can see in them. We can only experience in ourselves the aspects we love and celebrate. “I love my ability to maintain perspective about the fact that we are tiny people on this huge planet, where generations have come and gone before us. We’re like a speck of dust in the solar system. And our real journey on the planet should just be about enjoying the experience of being alive in the short amount of time we have. It can be so easy to get sucked into the mundane struggles of day-to-day life and whatever’s going on in your world. But I love that, no matter what’s happening, I’m always able to pull myself out, view myself and my world from above, and recognize how something’s not worth stressing about. I was always like that. And in others, I genuinely love when I can see physical signs that a person has a lot of empathy for others. My husband has been the best example of empathy for me in my life. Sometimes I’ll be conversing with him, and I’ll tell him something about someone he doesn’t know in person, and he’ll get teary-eyed about it. I feel like it takes a decent amount to make me cry, so, when I see people who are just so empathetic or get so affected even by just hearing someone else’s story, I think, “They’ve got something extraordinary going on,” concludes Lucie.

Like Lucie, are you predominantly looking in the direction of your preference?

Photography //  Grace Braaks

Connect with Lucie on Social Media

Listen to The Real Stuff With Lucie Fink

© 2020 Look Within All Rights Reserved

Scroll To Top